Adriana, that is an incredibly honest and gut-wrenching self-portrait. You must be an HSP--Highly Sensitive Person. There is a group on Facebook that might help if you're not already a member: https://www.facebook.com/groups/26753268200

Your descriptions of preparing for work took me straight back to my own similar experiences during particular periods in my life. It happens to men who are sensitive too, although we usually stuff the tears, but the emotions and knots in the stomach are the same. Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly, and I'm glad for you that you are going back to therapy. Hope you find peace and relief.